Top Rack Dishwasher Safe

Why I am not a political advisor

2008-05-12T21:37:04Z

Is anyone else out there half expecting Hillary to go all Britney Spears if (when) she doesn't get the nomination?

Now, then, where was I?

2008-05-09T19:41:25Z

It's been a while since I updated by 101 Things list (not to mention added some stuff to it to actually make 101 Things.) Let's see where I'm at.

Green items are actively in progress, blue items are semi-in-progress, ~~strikethrough~~ items are complete.

1. Read a book a month (3/33) -- (Read 2 in January, 2 in Feb., 2 in March, none in April.)
2. Keep a project list
3. Carry and use reuseable grocery bags (2/286)
4. Plan my 42nd birthday party
5. Buy used first for at least three months
6. Write a will
7. Create a beautiful border space between our driveway and the neighbor's. (*)
8. Create and tend a potager with M. (*)
9. Update the filing
10. Take voice lessons
11. Get behavioral therapy
12. Draw, paint, or color at least once a week (0/143)
13. Stop swearing in front of M.
14. Exercise (gym, yoga) 2-4 times/week
15. Plan sabbatical (*)
16. Reduce internet time to <2 hrs/day
17. Submit at least 5 things for publication (0/5)
18. Purge clutter from walk-in closet
19. Schedule installation of new countertops
20. Purge clutter from my office. (*)
21. Pay off the car
22. Save for E's new car
23. Maximize IRA annual contributions (1/4)
24. Create M's education investments
25. Organize papers for M's current investments
26. Back up computer files, then maintain backups weekly
27. Identify 3 writing contests to enter in 2008, then enter them
~~28. Write year-end (2007) newsletter to send to family and friends~~ (abandoned)
~~29. Mail newsletter with New Year cards to family and friends~~ (abandoned)
30. ~~Contact local elementary school re: pre-K for M~~ completed -- they don't offer Pre-K
31. Contact other schools re: pre-K for M
32. WW2, 2008 -- write and publish neighborhood newsletter (moved to WW20 or 21)
33. Paint exterior trim of house
34. Consider putting in climbing plants in front porch area
35. Identify several educational goals (a language? certain skills?) and work toward them
36. Write every day -- a page, a paragraph, a sentence at least
37. Identify 43 things that make me happy. Keep the list with me all the time.
38. Identify 43 things I am good at.
39. Identify 43 things I want to be good at or to know more about
40. Write for publication about my first year of motherhood.
41. Create and maintain a goals calendar
42. Create a standard grocery shopping list
43. Create 28 days worth of dinner and 14 days worth of lunch menus to simplify planning
44. Create a reasonable (monthly) grocery budget and stick to it (0/33)
45. Build retaining wall behind yard
46. Repair/replace/remove the back fence
47. Organize kitchen pantry
48. Get outside and walk every day it's possible (3/1001)
49. Re-do powder room (sometime in 2010)
50. Before then -- save up for powder room re-do
51. ~~Research all-season tires for Outback~~
52. ~~Purchase new all-season tires for Outback~~
53. Get new cellular blind for M's room
54. " " for master bedroom
55. Redecorate guest room
56. Get water filter installed under kitchen sink
57. Install my special towel bar in Master bath (& toilet paper holder, too)
58. Keep adding to this list til I get to 101
59. Read at least 20 pages/day (25/1001)
60. ~~Get garage organized and cleaned up~~
61. Get shelves and/or table and/or file holder for organizing stuff downstairs.
62. Get estimate for installing ceiling fans
63. Get ceiling fans

Give me your ear

2008-05-05T22:58:04Z

"Give me your ear," Maggie said, and I stepped out of my office, bent down my face near hers. Would she pinch my ear? Pretend to put earrings on me? Play that she's the doctor, looking in it with her otoscope?

No. She proceeded to tell about something important to her.

Maggie used her first metaphor!

Obit

2008-04-30T04:17:59Z

How cool is it that Albert Hoffman lived to 102?

dampscribbler @ 2008-04-28T20:14:00

2008-04-29T03:15:34Z

What's the difference between putting a toddler to bed and putting a drunk to bed?

The toddler is shorter.

Bad writing things, good writing things

2008-04-25T21:32:15Z

A Bad Thing has happened in my writing life, and it's taken me a long time to come to terms with it. Since 2000, I've been a part of an amazing Monday morning writing group, where several of us get together to practice writing on a suggested topic, or whatever we wish, and then share our writing.

For years the group did a pretty good job of respecting an unspoken boundary, treating the room almost as if it were the site of a 12-step meeting. It is not a critique group, the only feedback we provide on each others' work is in the form of "recall," which means that when a writer is reading aloud, we listen. If a phrase, idea, or piece of language strikes us as interesting in some way, we repeat it as precisely as possible (you'd be surprised how difficult that can be) during recall, immediately after that writer has read. It's a very powerful tool, allowing a writer some insight into what gets a reader/listener's attention without the added baggage of *what exactly* that person's response was. We want our words to be powerful. We don't always get to know in what way they are powerful. As long as there have been writers, there has been the necessary separation of writer and reader. (Storytelling, while similar, is a different beast. Storyteller
and listener are in an active, exchange-based relationship with one another, and the storytelling changes in response to the listener's response. A great storyteller "reads" his audience and responds with subtle changes to his delivery, expressions, gestures, and even language. The writer, in contrast, has only language to deliver her message, and she must decide which language will communicate her ideas and images while simultaneously provoking in her reader a personal response, that is, a response that is more or less unique to that reader, in order to establish a sense of intimacy between two parties separated by space and, most likely, time.)

The Bad Thing that happened was that, eventually, a person with a lot of pain, a lot of need, a lot of issues, and very poor boundaries joined our group. Some of her issues were similar to issues of my own (and, in all
honesty, I must admit that I have at times had similar problems -- in particular poor boundaries and lots of need). She could not or would not limit her responses to mere recall, but constantly commented on what I wrote in very specific and intimate terms, not as one writer to another, but as one hurting person to another. Now, this is great for a group therapy session, but not so good for writing practice. I tried to communicate to
her that I wasn't entirely comfortable with this, and whenever I introduced a new person to the group, made a point of clearly stating the "we respond with recall" rule. But she didn't get it. And after each meeting was
done, she corralled me for discussion about her personal situation, my personal situation, and made clear by her comments that she assumed she understood intimately what I was experiencing. I, with my poor boundaries, and passionate desire to both connect with this person and make myself known
to her, kept trying to clarify, both in conversation and my writing, what was truly going on. Unfortunately, she already had me confined to a box of her making (and, I believe, has herself confined to a box, as well, but
that's not my call).

Ultimately, what suffered most was my writing. In attempting to engage honestly, my writing became dishonest. See, that's another difference between the storyteller and the writer. The storyteller is telling a story
that already exists from beginning to end. Any changes that are being made for the audience alter the telling, but not the story, in its most reductive definition of "beginning, middle, end." But when a writer sits down to
write, she doesn't always know the story. In my case, if I know the whole story, I'm probably not interested in writing it down. The discovery is such a huge part of the fun. So my writing became a response to one person. The discovery was gone, the playfulness was gone, and I wasn't working on
stories or scenes or explorations. Instead, I just journaled my complaints and concerns and re-hashed them again and again, and in so doing continuously engaged and re-engaged this person in my private life.

See how I'm trying to take responsibility here? I do feel responsible, for my writing, my leadership or lack of, my interactions with the offender. I was the de-facto leader of the group, and I let the group down. Although
possibly myself the most.

I've been reluctant for the past several months to commit to the group again, and I rarely make it in. I've only just realized that while I do want to go back, I don't trust my writing, tenuous as it is right now, to get me through this unwanted relationship.

But a Good Thing has happened, now. I've gone on too long to go into it at the moment, but I have a New Place to write, and I've decided, for the moment, to take leave of my group and write here and see what happens. I'm in the New Place now. And look, at the very least, I've written what just might be my longest ever LJ post. More on the New Place in a few days. The words have begun again. That feels good.

Limits of the Intarwebs

2008-04-24T00:10:55Z

Why are there police driving through my neighborhood with their lights on?

Why have sirens been going for the past 15 minutes somewhere (but where?) nearby?

Supergirl!

2008-04-20T23:00:20Z

After just 50 starts as an Indy racer, Danica Patrick took the checkered flag yesterday at Motegi, Japan. Go, girl!!

Stories: IRL
New York Times

For the record

2008-04-19T21:25:43Z

It's been snowing for the past 20 minutes.

State of the house: improving

2008-04-12T00:51:07Z

M: Last day of antibiotics -- pinkeye seems resolved, ears TBD
E: Vertical most of the day
K: Vertical all day, snotty but functional, pinkeye improving, ears also TBD

Taxes: Done but not filed, we don't owe after all!

Weather: Sunny and 70 today, Sunny and 74 tomorrow. Hallelujah!

State of the house -- morning update

2008-04-10T14:56:48Z

M's day off school today
K developing the pinkeye, slight improvment in the tiredness and sinus departments
E sick in bed

State of the house

2008-04-09T22:54:01Z

M: Third day on azithromycin and antibiotic eyedrops -- approx 15 days since the sniffles started
K: Third day of sore throat, congestion, mild cough, extreme tiredness
E: Day one of sore throat, tiredness, congestion

I hab a code

2008-04-07T20:14:30Z

Expressions of sympathy welcome. A simple one will often keep me going at least an hour.

Thanks.

Oh, bummer

2008-04-07T03:46:52Z

Looks like for the first time in my life we didn't have enough tax withheld this year. We're gonna owe. :-(

Just a couple of thoughts to get me started

2008-04-06T23:50:29Z

I always seem to choose to post when I have almost no time. This time is no exception, as I'm making dinner, doing laundry, needing to attend to Nature's call, sorting tax papers, and looking at the Web right now.

Still, I'll post something....

It has come to my attention that my daughter is a nicer person when I am a nicer person. I'm not taking entirely kindly to this news. See, I'm a curmudgeonly she-bastard in my head, and I'm comfortable that way. Being nice and having fun is okay for a few hours, but it's so alien and unfamiliar to me that it feels like work to maintain it for very long. Bitching about stuff, on the other hand, is easy. Natural. Comfortable.

I guess when They say that being a parent will make you a better person, it's this kind of thing they're talking about. You know, getting nicer and grumping less. I don't know. It's all very mysterious to me. I'd like to record developments as they, well, develop, here in my LJ. But considering my history, it may not happen. After all, I've recorded so few other developments and significant events here (did you know I finally had my medically-indicated colonoscopy in January? No, because I still haven't gotten around to writing about it here. Because I seem to be waiting for something before I post here. What am I waiting for? Maybe I'm waiting til I have happier, less grumpy bitchy things to write about. Again, I don't know.)

That's all for now.

Another perfect mother-daughter moment.

2008-04-01T16:49:28Z

As Maggie climbed into her chair (right next to mine) to eat breakfast this morning --

Me: You look very pretty this morning

Maggie: Uhhh...you don't.

Misc

2008-03-30T02:46:46Z

Spring Cleaning: No kidding, we just got the last of the Christmas decorations put away a couple of hours ago.

Discardia: Haven't discarded much, although I took 2 bags to the consignment shop last week and have at least another bag to go to Goodwill, so it's something. Also, I'm trying to make a point not to buy anything but consumables right now, although Wednesday I forgot and bought two magazines.

Earth Hour: My PC is usually on 24/6 and about 18 hours of day 7, but I'm shutting down now for the night (an extra night, as my "night off" is, inexplicably, usually Thursday.) Maybe I'll try shutting down 6 nights a week (gotta save one for backups and virus scanning.)

Offline time: I've been trying to spend much less time online for the past three weeks, and, more or less, it's working. Not staying away as much as I'd like, but on the other hand, not wanting at all to go back to the way it was, so this is good.

That's it for now. G'night.

Okay

2008-03-25T23:26:41Z

I don't know when or if I'll ever get around to writing my reviews, but I'm risking losing track, so here's a place-keeper entry:

January 2008: The Carhullan Army
Daughter of Night

February 2008: Odd and the Frost Giants

March 2008: The Treasures of Weatherby
ongoing: The Golden Notebook

Also, in case any of you are wondering what's going on with me, I quit drinking coffee about 12 days ago and have been pretty much incapacitated by the shockingly severe symptoms of caffeine withdrawal since then. Just started feeling human again about 24 hours ago, which was when I finally realized why I felt so hideous. Don't be surprised if it's another week or so before you hear from me again.

Clouds on the move.

2008-03-21T04:29:03Z

We've had a couple of doozie storms move through this afternoon and evening -- intense, but brief. Now I can look out a South-facing window and see the full moon, with cottony clouds reflecting silver light moving purposefully past, as if migrating. I feel both peaceful and hopeful. I trust the clouds.

A supposedly fun thing I'll never do again

2008-03-17T04:19:44Z

Giving a preschooler a cupcake one hour before bedtime is not "nice" or "fun," it just means I have shit for brains.

Riot Grrl, Part The Second

2008-03-04T22:54:36Z

7:15 this morning, M has crawled into bed, Eric has crawled out, I'm playing possum because it's all I'm capable of (after 2 hours of unwanted wakefulness between 4-6am) and M says:

"I want a snake
for a pet."

Documentary

2008-03-03T23:55:12Z

I first heard about Rock n Roll Camp for girls maybe a decade ago, and was instantly so jealous that I thought it was a horrible idea. (Some days I'm like that -- I didn't get to have anything that cool, so it must really suck and why would anyone do it. Be honest, you have moments like that, too.) I have occasionally bumped into a reference about it here or there since then, and now that I have a daughter I've been thinking it might be cool for her to go someday.

Today, I happened across an advertisement that intrigued me. It turns out that in 2005, a documentary was made about the camp right here in Portland, and the documentary premieres nationwide on Friday. (I usually find out about stuff like this way after the fact, so I'm tickled.) I've watched the trailer three times now, and I simply cannot get through it without tearing up. I cannot wait to see this movie.

And, as it turns out, I can go to camp, too.

Riot grrl in the making

2008-03-03T19:36:54Z

Yesterday Eric took M to the schoolyard to play. As she climbed the structure to slide down the twisty slide, a group of 8-year-old girls stampeded the place like a sudden Santa Ana gust in August, stopping just short of tumbling her down. After the storm had passed, Eric said "whoa M, ya gotta watch out, those girls are dangerous."

"But Daddy," she said quite seriously, "I'm dangerous too."

Two parents of a 3-1/2 year old could not be prouder.

Hooray!

2008-02-29T04:05:33Z

Mini 101 Things update:

1. Read a book a month (2/33)

Last night I read "Odd and the Frost Giants" by Neil Gaiman. Details to follow. Now I need to write three book reviews for 2008.

101 Things Update #2

2008-02-28T02:54:19Z

Green items are actively in progress, blue items are semi-in-progress, ~~strikethrough~~ items are complete.

1. Read a book a month (1/33) -- (Read two complete books in January, but none yet in Feb.)
2. Keep a project list
3. Carry and use reuseable grocery bags (0/286)
4. Plan my 42nd birthday party
5. Buy used first for at least three months
6. Write a will
7. Create a beautiful border space between our driveway and the neighbor's. (*)
8. Create and tend a potager with M. (*)
9. Update the filing
10. Take voice lessons
11. Get behavioral therapy
12. Draw, paint, or color at least once a week (0/143)
13. Stop swearing in front of M.
14. Exercise (gym, yoga) 2-4 times/week
15. Plan sabbatical (*)
16. Reduce internet time to <2 hrs/day
17. Submit at least 5 things for publication (0/5)
18. Purge clutter from walk-in closet
19. Schedule installation of new countertops
20. Purge clutter from my office. (*)
21. Pay off the car
22. Save for E's new car
23. Maximize IRA annual contributions (1/4)
24. Create M's education investments
25. Organize papers for M's current investments
26. Back up computer files, then maintain backups weekly
27. Identify 3 writing contests to enter in 2008, then enter them
28. Write year-end (2007) newsletter to send to family and friends
29. Mail newsletter with New Year cards to family and friends
30. ~~Contact local elementary school re: pre-K for M~~ completed -- they don't offer Pre-K
31. Contact other schools re: pre-K for M
32. WW2, 2008 -- write and publish neighborhood newsletter
33. Paint exterior trim of house
34. Consider putting in climbing plants in front porch area
35. Identify several educational goals (a language? certain skills?) and work toward them
36. Write every day -- a page, a paragraph, a sentence at least
37. Identify 43 things that make me happy. Keep the list with me all the time.
38. Identify 43 things I am good at.
39. Identify 43 things I want to be good at or to know more about
40. Write for publication about my first year of motherhood.
41. Create and maintain a goals calendar
42. Create a standard grocery shopping list
43. Create 28 days worth of dinner and 14 days worth of lunch menus to simplify planning
44. Create a reasonable (monthly) grocery budget and stick to it (0/33)
45. Build retaining wall behind yard
46. Repair/replace/remove the back fence
47. Organize kitchen pantry
48. Get outside and walk every day it's possible (3/1001)
49. Re-do powder room (sometime in 2010)
50. Before then -- save up for powder room re-do
51. ~~Research all-season tires for Outback~~
52. ~~Purchase new all-season tires for Outback~~
53. Get new cellular blind for M's room
54. " " for master bedroom
55. Redecorate guest room
56. Get water filter installed under kitchen sink
57. Install my special towel bar in Master bath (& toilet paper holder, too)
58. Keep adding to this list til I get to 101
59. Read at least 20 pages/day (12/1001)